Summer In New Zealand

Just finished a summer vacation whirlwind family catch-up tor of the southern part of New Zealand (my home-land) with my three kids, James Rowena and Katherine.

Mount Cook

Queenstown

Five Rivers Retreat

My niece Paula and her husband Roger put us up for a few nights in their gorgeous farm house. This is just 1 hour from Queenstown and other major attractions and highly recommend them to any travelers. See their website.

Strawberry Island

LOVES Messenger

LOVES Messenger

T-24.II.14. The key you threw away God gave your brother, whose holy hands would offer it to you when you were ready to accept His plan for your salvation in the place of yours. 2 How could this readiness be reached save through the sight of all your misery, and the awareness that your plan has failed, and will forever fail to bring you peace and joy of any kind? 3 Through this despair you travel now, yet it is but illusion of despair. 4 The death of specialness is not your death, but your awaking into life eternal. 5 You but emerge from an illusion of what you are to the acceptance of yourself as God created you.

On August 1977 I was handed the golden key that briefly opened a door , long enough to let me “see” , and keep me searching until I found what I knew was true.

Then, 20years old (suicidal, angry, bitter from guilt and twisted from acid and booze) I boarded an overnight express train in Melbourne (Australia) its destination, Sydney.

As the train rushed through the black of night I stood between two carriages contemplating stepping into the blackness to end the torment of a disillusioned and failing life. This was the closest yet I had come to taking that final step. During the days before this night I had climbed my way via the fire escape, out onto the top of the apartment block on Flinders street overlooking the central railway station, where I rented a small room with my diminishing savings. Each day on the roof, looking out at the horizon of peaceful clouds and migrating geese and swans and then to the noisy busy street below, feeling so confused, alien and alone.

Out of the blue I received an invitation in the mail box, to my friend’s 21^st birthday party in Sydney. I’m still not sure how the letter found me but this was my last straw at which I grabbed (and unbeknown to me the first in a series of seemingly orchestrated situations). That same day I bought the train ticket with my last few dollars and walked across the street and boarded the train.

I turned away from where I stood staring into the darkness and fumbled my way through the carriage to my seat which was next to the window. Perhaps it was the prospect of Sydney that turned me from that final step into the blackness. In the isle seat was a middle aged man to whom I began an arrogant attempt at conversation, I found myself imposing my knowledge of some Harrikrishna book I had just read. I don’t remember too much of the actual dialogue we were involved with, but what was soon to happen, I could have never imagined possible.

John, the gentleman to whom I was waffling to in the shadowy lighted carriage, turned to me and gently asked “what do you know about forgiveness?” I replied that I new very little, but from his sincerity I felt in the question, I was open to listen to him. He then went on to explain how un-forgiveness (grievance) was like a cancer and not only did it cause disease and suffering and pain for the person who held un-forgiveness (judgment) but also the person upon whom the judgment is aimed would also suffer.

These words gripped at my heart and I saw the bitterness and guilt I was carrying was as he had said, a cancer eating away at me causing my suffering and torment. I saw how I disguised this with a tough-guy arrogant image. I also saw those to whom I vented my judgment and anger at as undeserving of such poison. Especially too, my own family, as I could see that this was where my grievances were nurtured as a young boy. I was always playing the victim and holding grudges as a way of manipulating. It must have tormented my parents something awful.

For the mistakes and blindness I had fallen into I wept with forgiveness in the dimly lit carriage as it rattled through the night.

I had cried myself to sleep while it was night and as I began to stir just as the early dawn had come, I became aware of something very different, I was not sure what to make of myself as I felt completely different, no longer heavy and depressed, but as light as a feather and as I looked at my arms and hands I laughed and said to John “I feel as though I have been washed from the inside out with crystal clear water and if I could cut my limbs off I would still be untouched”. “John”, I asked filled with a warm joy and a sense of oneness “what is this that has happened to me?”

John proceeded to explain in few words that my forgiveness had set me free!

I looked out the window at the bush land as we speed through the hills and nature was singing to me through its newness. This excited me more and I felt as though I was one with everything and a deep ancient mysterious and infinite presence which I could not quite comprehend.

People in the carriage began to stir from their sleep and move around, and as I looked at them I could see them in their “innocence” and at the same time I was without judgment, just a pure unconditional acceptance. I saw the silly games they were playing with each other and I felt the pain that they were causing each other. I watched an elderly couple in their “special relationship” inflicting pain onto each other through their subtle verbal grievances as though this life long victimizing practice was a “normal relationship”. Yet I saw the victim scripts being played out from their unconsciousness.

I watched some young men luring an innocent girl toward their snare and felt like I wanted to warn her of the deception at play, but I was more the “passerby” and watched with amazement at my clarity of “vision”.

I asked John where I could learn about this “whatever it is that has happened to me” and he mentioned a book called “Im ok, Your ok” ( Transactual analysis ?sp ). (Some days later I read the book but it was way out of my depth and I sought for understanding in other places.)

The train climbed its way through the hills and emerged into fields before its final decent into Sydney. What followed I was not prepared for, and as the train turned a bend I gasped with horror as my new perception tried to comprehend this ugly and hideous sight. There out in the field stood the massive steel grey power pylon with thick power lines drooping of into the distance. To me it was insanity to behold such a wrong object in what was previously a vibrant and natural perception, now contaminated with something so wrong. I fumbled at trying to reason with it, only to say to John “this is so wrong” to which he just smiled, and within minutes I was seeing many such hiddious things strewn across the landscape. I realized that something was very wrong and had the strong feelings that man had gotten it all so very wrong. (I now understand the trick of ego and its illusions thanks to ACIM)

As the train soon wound its way into the urban sprawl of bricks and steal, passing through dirty train stations I was quickly to be overcome with what I could not reason with and a subtle fear began to take controle again though I felt it I new not how to manage it.

At the central station I was reluctant to say a teary goodbye to my new friend though it was necessary. I would not see him for another seven years.

I grabbed a taxi down to the wharf where I caught a Hydrofoil across to Manly which was at the far side of the harbor. This ride had another “shock” install for me which I realize now from AICM this was the ego sucking me back into its fearful illusion and deception.

As the hydrofoil skimmed gracefully across the water I was standing on the deck looking out to the right hand side when there emerged this huge pitch black ugly hideous monster from beneath the surface. Fear of Death screamed at me and I shuddered with a terrifying thought that mankind could think of and make such a awful deathly thing. This Naval “submarine” was heading in the same direction as us but I could not stand to look upon it for what it symbolized…death. I had swallowed the illusion of fear hook line and sinker….I was falling asleep into the illusion of “separation” again, being without any compass to give me spiritual instruction or guidance I felt fear sucking the happiness away and I was now afraid of loosing my new found “awareness”.

At reaching Manly wharf I was unsettled but still in awe of my initial awakening experience and felt a new hope that I could work it all out and get the joy back.

Within a matter of two days I had all but lost the lightness and “vision” of my experience, but miracles didn’t stop and over the next few months I encountered some interesting twists and turns that gave me determination to not stop seeking for what I new was reality beyond the nightmare.

I could fill a book with the journey that followed but to round it off for a shortened version I will summarize by saying that I spent the next 20years fumbling around the labyrinths of Christian idealistic theology, riding on its roller-coasters and roundabouts grasping for that magic key that would give me “Vision” again. Little things along the way, like having the odd OBE which would rekindle the thirst for truth of what is behind all the seemingly infinitely mysterious realms and finding myself (for 10 more years) in yet another duelist labyrinth of explanations found at the New Age self-help buffet.

BUT…at last I found DU, late last year (2006) and ACIM (before I finished DU), because I new without a doubt, this time, I was almost home…I had found my lost golden key….FORGIVENESS!

I have found the door to my freedom which the key (loves messenger) is unlocking, thanks to Gary and his remarkable book The Disappearance of the Universe.

“Here, the world outside is seen anew, without the shadow of guilt upon it. Here are you forgiven, for here you have forgiven everyone. Here is the new perception, where everything is bright and shinning with innocence, washed in the waters of forgiveness, and cleansed of every evil thought you had laid upon it. …Yet even forgiveness is not the end. Forgiveness does make lovely, but it does not create. It is the source of healing, but it is the messenger of love, and not its source….The holy instant in which you were united is but the messenger of Love, sent from beyond forgiveness to remind you of all that lies beyond it. Yet it is through forgiveness that it will be remembered.” ACIM

6 Big Fat Lies About Forgiveness

"6 Big Fat Lies About Forgiveness"

©2003 Karen Bentley

There's a difference between the more familiar social version of
forgiveness and the less familiar spiritual version of forgiveness.
This is because the purpose of the social version of forgiveness is
to assign or accept blame, whereas the purpose of the spiritual
version of forgiveness is to undo the hate you have in your mind for
self or another. As you can see, these two versions of forgiveness
are not the same. One enables you to feel good, and the other makes
you feel bad.

The social practice of forgiveness leaves you feeling bad because it
does not undo hate. Many times, it makes hate stronger. Therefore, it
does nothing truly useful and it has nothing to do with real
forgiveness. The undoing of hate in the mind is very important
because it's the key to happiness beyond your wildest expectations.
Therefore, the little known and underutilized spiritual practice of
forgiveness is one of the great secrets of life. Keep that in mind as
you reconsider six of the biggest, fattest lies about the social way
in which we forgive.

Lie #1: Saying the words "I forgive you" or "I apologize" is an act
of forgiveness.
This is the biggest lie of all. While saying "I forgive you" or "I
apologize" is a popular social convention for dealing with mistakes,
it does not necessarily end the hate you have in your own mind or the
hate that someone else holds against you. In fact, saying these words
has the opposite effect of making the mistake more real and more
serious rather than minimizing it. Remember when Tanya Harding
publicly apologized to Nancy Kerrigan for having Nancy's knee whacked
just before the winter Olympics in 1994? Even though Tanya said the
right words and appeared to be sincere, the words did nothing to
change Nancy's mind about Tanya's badness or wrongness. It most
likely had the opposite effect of keeping Nancy's grudge alive rather
than undoing it.

This is not to suggest that you should never say "I'm sorry"
or "excuse me for making a mistake." Rather, it's to ask you to
become more conscious of why you are saying these words and what you
are really doing. When you give an apology or demand one from someone
else, you are not choosing to see goodness in self or another.
Instead you are choosing to see the worst. And you get what you see.
Always. Is the worst what you really want, dear reader? The spiritual
practice of forgiveness develops your spiritual vision, which is the
ability to see self or other at the highest possible level.

Lie #2: Forgiveness takes a long time and may involve many steps.
This is another popular social concept which is untrue. Many social
and psychologically-oriented forgiveness practices involve several
steps, stages, or degrees of forgiveness. First you think some more
about the way you've been mistreated. Maybe you write down all the
injustices. Then you get ready to forgive. Then you do this. Then you
do that. Then maybe you write a letter or talk to a counselor about
how badly you've been injured. Then you do something else. Yes, you
can engage in this kind of angst and turmoil for as long as you want.
And there's an advantage to it because your ego-based need for
attention from others is fulfilled. But try to remember that this
need does not make you happy, so ultimately there is no benefit.
Wallowing in misery and delaying your joy is completely unnecessary.

Spiritual forgiveness is not hard, time-consuming, complicated, or
mysterious. It begins with the awareness of hate in your mind and
ends with the tiny willingness to give it up. You practice
forgiveness the very moment you change your mind about yourself or
another being wrong or bad. So here is the question to ask yourself,
dear reader. How long does it take to change your mind? Not even a
second.

Lie #3. Forgiveness only needs to be done once.
In the social version of forgiveness, you say the words "I'm sorry"
or "forgive me" once, and typically the deed is done. However, this
doesn't really work because the human mind is disorganized and
untrained. Thoughts of badness or wrongness keep coming back again
and again. Because the mind is so unruly, it's critical to approach
forgiveness as a form of spiritual fitness, something you do for
yourself on an ongoing basis, rather than a one-time event.
Developing spiritual fitness is the same as developing physical
fitness. You cannot expect to grow a big, beautiful bicep muscle by
doing one repetition of a bicep curl. Likewise, you cannot expect to
develop a mind that's free of hate by one small act of forgiveness.

Here's how it works: A loveless thought about self or another enters
the mind, and you notice it. Now you have a choice. It's always the
same choice. You can keep the thought and indulge it, or you can
change your mind and thereby undo (or transcend) the loveless
thought. The loveless thought gets undone over and over, every time
it presents itself, maybe several times a day. You just keep at it,
like a diet. Eventually the thought is dismantled because there is no
fresh investment of energy to keep it going.

Lie #4. Forgiveness is painful.
It's true that the social version of forgiveness can be very painful
because it always involves assigning ownership for a mistake or
admitting ownership for a mistake. Ugh! Of course that hurts! No
wonder forgiveness has such a bad name! However, the spiritual
version of forgiveness is not painful at all because it is the
complete overlooking of blame. Therefore, real forgiveness results in
joy, not pain.

Lie #5. Forgiveness means that you accept or condone certain acts and
behaviors as okay.
Forgiveness is not the overlooking of a problem. It's the overlooking
of the blame and the judgment of badness or wrongness that typically
accompanies the problem. If, for example, your house is on fire, you
can't overlook it and pretend that nothing's happening. You have to
solve the problem at hand, put the fire out, tend to processing
insurance claims and salvaging your belongings. Your mission is
simply to solve your problems and make life more functional without
the dose of attack, guilt, or blame that usually goes along with it.

In our world, love (or special attention) is given or withheld based
on the performance or non performance of certain desirable behaviors.
But if you give or withdraw your love based on what people do or
don't do for you, then your love is completely and totally
conditional. What you're offering is actually a bargain - not love.
Real love is unconditional and unshakeable. While it is more pleasing
to have people in the world behave the way you want them to behave
and value what you want them to value, love is not dependent on the
behavior or value system of others. Love is dependent on your
decision to be a loving being and that is all.

Lie #6. Forgiveness corrects errors.
The social practice of forgiveness often includes the provision that
someone else must correct an offensive or inappropriate behavior. As
you can by now see, this is yet another condition on love. Therefore,
it cannot be love and must be hate. Since forgiveness is the undoing
of hate, correction of another cannot be a form of forgiveness.
Correction of another is God's job, not ours. Our job is to accept
our brothers and sisters "as they are." The hardest thing we are
asked to do on the spiritual path is to witness a behavioral mistake
in another without judgment or correction. Can you do it? Of course
you can. A more important question is will you do it? Will you refuse
to be shaken by the insanity of another? That is the test of peace
you must pass.

We want the people in our world to conform to our morally correct and
uplifted standards, so it is always a challenge to remember that this
is our fantasy about how the world "should be." This fantasy is the
subtle way in which we all "dream" or "sleep." Because of this,
spiritual forgiveness is a gentle way of awakening. Many of us give
good lip service to wanting to awaken from our dreams and to become
enlightened, but the bottom line is always the same. What we really
want is for our brothers and sisters to awaken so that we don't have
to do the work of being a loving being in the face of constant
lovelessness.

PARADOX

PARADOX
By Jed McKenna

You will never achieve spiritual enlightenment
The you that you think of as you is not you,
The you that thinks of you as you is not you.
There is no you, so who wishes to become enlightened?

Who is not enlightened?
Who will become enlightened?
Who will BE enlightened?

Enlightenment is your destiny – more certain than
Sunrise.

You cannot fail to achieve enlightenment.
Were you told otherwise?
Irresistible forces compel you. The universe insists.
It's not within your power to fail.

There is no path to enlightenment:
It lies in all directions at all times.
On the journey to enlightenment, you create and
Destroy your own path with every step.

No one can follow another's path.
No one ca step off the path.
No one can lead another.
No one can turn back.
No one can stop.

Enlightenment is closer than your skin,
More immediate than your next breadth,
And forever beyond your reach.

It need not be sought because it cannot be found.
It cannot be found because it is not lost.
It cannot be lost because it is not other than that which seeks.

The paradox is that there is no paradox.
Is that not the damndest thing?
..................................................................
Reminds me of the song from Van Morrison " Enlightenment", one of my top 10 for the century!

Without forgiveness is the mind in chains

I was in the quicksands of depression for about three days late last week. Finally, while I had shut myself in my bedroom, laying on my bed most of Sunday, I was looking at a situation that had happened some 15 years ago, and realizing the mistake I had made during the then situation. I found myself both asking for forgiveness with many tears and forgiving myself for making the choice I did and realizing the suffering I have done to myself. Part of this suffering is what follows.

I have been suffering in the last three or so years from heart palpitations which was almost non-stop. I first noticed these when I first got marry some 17 years ago, but only in the last three years, have they become so constant that they became of a real concern to me that I attended a heart specialist, who did the regular checks and what have you. He offered nothing more than I already knew. We both agreed it was due to a stressful marriage.

I had previously believed it was the condition caused by diet, and so I was watching my diet and to see if there were any regularity between when the palpitations would occur in conjunction with what I had eaten or drank. There was nothing noticeably consistent. It wasn't too long before I realized that my condition was the effect of anxiety and fear. Anyhow, without going too far into that, it was while practicing and experiencing Real forgiveness this Sunday on my bed, that I had the sensation like l was almost at the point of crossing over totally into the mind of Christ. I was willing to, this much I know. My breathing changed to a almost non existent. In fact, I was not conscious of my body at all. Just a peaceful state. This did not last long, and when I arose from a bed I did not notice any changes except for the peace that had replaced the self attacking depression and a gratitude for forgiveness. Later that night when I went to bed I noticed that normally, when I went to lay on my left side the palpitations would increase and I would have to lay flat on my back. This time they did not. There were none. I knew straight away that I had been healed, and to this day Thursday, I have had no symptoms whatsoever.

Wisdom from ACIM

All things I think I see reflect ideas.

W-325.1. This is salvation's keynote: What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. 2 From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. 3 These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one's own. 4 From insane wishes comes an insane world. 5 From judgment comes a world condemned. 6 And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth, with mercy for the holy Son of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a while before he journeys on, and help his brothers walk ahead with him, and find the way to Heaven and to God.

Love

Harvey

The miracle perceives everything AS IT IS

The partly innocent are apt to be quite foolish at times. (Thats me alright)
It is not until their innocence becomes a genuine viewpoint which is universal in its
application that it becomes wisdom. Innocent (or true) perception means that
you NEVER misperceive and ALWAYS see truly. More simply, it means that you
never see what does not really exist. When you lack confidence in what someone
will do, you are attesting to your belief that he is not in his right mind.
This is hardly a miracle-based frame of reference. It also has the disastrous
effect of denying the creative power of the miracle.
The miracle perceives everything AS IT IS. ACIM Text:38

This is a Poem of appreciation to a great brother: Gary Renard

Once somewhere in the dream time

Arten said to Pursah

Its time to make a din

These guys are still playin follow the leader

And just wont enter in

We have to find some ONE

Who doesn’t follow those silly ego rules.

And so conjured a surprise visit

With this witty little guy

Who loved canned beer and rock.

They knew this combination

When mixed together would win

The hearts and minds of those

Who were willing to journey within.

And so it was with this little guy

That he did blaze the way

Past the loud charades of vane egos fear

Beyond the lofty peaks of spiritualized pride

He opened the way with just one key

Quantum Forgiveness did open the gates to love

And how the light did billow in

And this little guy

Who loved canned beer and rock

Did become a mighty pioneer.

May the Course be with you

Harvey

Here is the answer! The Golden Key!

ACIM Workbook Lesson 122 - Forgiveness offers everything I want.

"What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace?
Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a
certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that
transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of
sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be
disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding
comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?"

"All this forgiveness offers you, and more. It sparkles on your eyes
as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day. It
soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rests upon your eyelids
so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when
you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace.
All this forgiveness offers you, and more."

"Forgiveness lets the veil be lifted up that hides the face of
Christ from those who look with unforgiving eyes upon the world. It
lets you recognize the Son of God, and clears your memory of all
dead thoughts so that remembrance of your Father can arise across
the threshold of your mind. What would you want forgiveness cannot
give? What gifts but these are worthy to be sought? What fancied
value, trivial effect or transient promise, never to be kept, can
hold more hope than what forgiveness brings?"

"Why would you seek an answer other than the answer that will answer
everything? Here is the perfect answer, given to imperfect
questions, meaningless requests, halfhearted willingness to hear,
and less than halfway diligence and partial trust. Here is the
answer! Seek for it no more. You will not find another one instead."

"God's plan for your salvation cannot change, nor can it fail. Be
thankful it remains exactly as He planned it. Changelessly it stands
before you like an open door, with warmth and welcome calling from
beyond the doorway, bidding you to enter in and make yourself at
home, where you belong."

"Here is the answer! Would you stand outside while all of Heaven
waits for you within? Forgive and be forgiven. As you give you will
receive. There is no plan but this for the salvation of the Son of
God. Let us today rejoice that this is so, for here we have an
answer, clear and plain, beyond deceit in its simplicity. All the
complexities the world has spun of fragile cobwebs disappear before
the power and the majesty of this extremely simple statement of the
truth."

"Here is the answer! Do not turn away in aimless wandering again.
Accept salvation now. It is the gift of God, and not the world. The
world can give no gifts of any value to a mind that has received
what God has given as its own. God wills salvation be received
today, and that the intricacies of your dreams no longer hide their
nothingness from you."

"Open your eyes today and look upon a happy world of safety and of
peace. Forgiveness is the means by which it comes to take the place
of hell. In quietness it rises up to greet your open eyes, and fill
your heart with deep tranquility as ancient truths, forever newly
born, arise in your awareness. What you will remember then can never
be described. Yet your forgiveness offers it to you."

Thank you Jesus - a better Friend I will never find!