I was in the quicksands of depression for about three days late last week. Finally, while I had shut myself in my bedroom, laying on my bed most of Sunday, I was looking at a situation that had happened some 15 years ago, and realizing the mistake I had made during the then situation. I found myself both asking for forgiveness with many tears and forgiving myself for making the choice I did and realizing the suffering I have done to myself. Part of this suffering is what follows.
I have been suffering in the last three or so years from heart palpitations which was almost non-stop. I first noticed these when I first got marry some 17 years ago, but only in the last three years, have they become so constant that they became of a real concern to me that I attended a heart specialist, who did the regular checks and what have you. He offered nothing more than I already knew. We both agreed it was due to a stressful marriage.
I had previously believed it was the condition caused by diet, and so I was watching my diet and to see if there were any regularity between when the palpitations would occur in conjunction with what I had eaten or drank. There was nothing noticeably consistent. It wasn't too long before I realized that my condition was the effect of anxiety and fear. Anyhow, without going too far into that, it was while practicing and experiencing Real forgiveness this Sunday on my bed, that I had the sensation like l was almost at the point of crossing over totally into the mind of Christ. I was willing to, this much I know. My breathing changed to a almost non existent. In fact, I was not conscious of my body at all. Just a peaceful state. This did not last long, and when I arose from a bed I did not notice any changes except for the peace that had replaced the self attacking depression and a gratitude for forgiveness. Later that night when I went to bed I noticed that normally, when I went to lay on my left side the palpitations would increase and I would have to lay flat on my back. This time they did not. There were none. I knew straight away that I had been healed, and to this day Thursday, I have had no symptoms whatsoever.
All things I think I see reflect ideas.
W-325.1. This is salvation's keynote: What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. 2 From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. 3 These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one's own. 4 From insane wishes comes an insane world. 5 From judgment comes a world condemned. 6 And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth, with mercy for the holy Son of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a while before he journeys on, and help his brothers walk ahead with him, and find the way to Heaven and to God.
Love
Harvey
